Just Say No to Dill: A Culinary Manifesto
Fellow Food Lovers! Enough is enough! The time has come to bring an end to the rampant addiction ravaging our eateries from Vienna to Vladivostok! We are better than this! Dill is not the answer!
Yes, dill might still have some culinary uses – in dill pickles, perhaps. And, yes, a little dill can sometimes bring out the taste of salmon, mushrooms, or potatoes. And yet, the underlying problem is that too few kitchens will use dill in moderation. Its culinary addicts seem to enjoy infecting everything from pizza to plov, overwhelming the taste of all that which is meant to be eaten. Even wise Slavic chefs know that the distinct taste of dill does not belong on most dishes – including pelmeni and vareniki. Dill is not the answer!
Yes, as more and more people learn how to cook and stop treating food as fuel, the abuse of dill is no longer as widespread as it once used to be. And yet, even today you’ll still find dill tossed into pasta or mixed in with vegetables or added into other dishes where it was never meant to be. The only way to finally break this cycle of addiction is to declare a moratorium. Dill is not the answer!
Yes, everyone wants to add a little color – a little green – to their plates. This is even more true in winter – especially in this cold part of the world. But why not choose a green aromatic herb that compliments the rest of the dish? Like basil for tomatoes? Or rosemary with lamb? Dill is not the answer!
Yes, far too many places in North America still add that mandatory spring of parsley. Yet, that little sprig can just be tossed aside before it ruins the rest of the food. Dill, however, gets chopped into little pieces. Its tiny leaves then get sprinkled everywhere – just like those tiny hairs left behind after your shave or trim your beard. And everyone knows just how long it takes to get the sink clean after that. Dill is not the answer!
Inspired by Nancy Reagan’s 1980s campaign, we propose breathing new life into her three most powerful words: Just Say No!
Join us – and together, we can become a dill-free example for the entire region!
Signed,
Neighbors for a Dill-Free Kalamaja
Image: Thanks to Tatiana Iakovleva for visualizing our new logo which may soon become available on t-shirts, bumper stickers, buttons, badges, and posters near you!
flatfish 
2 Responses to “Just Say No to Dill: A Culinary Manifesto”
They must be dillirious!
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Those poor, lost dill devotees ….
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